I'll Always Be Yours
by WovianbyPotter221B
Summary: This is a story about Lexa Smith who's been in love with Dan Howell since her mother and father died. She's had some trouble along the way but managed to graduate high school and live a normal life, but not for long...
1. Chapter 1

"Where are they?" I thought impatiently. I stepped into the bathroom that connected my room to the guest room that should have been occupied already. I checked to make sure I looked good in my cute little white shorts and my ah-dorable teal tank top was perfectly adjusted and looked effortless. I checked my perfectly wavy, brown hair to make sure it was parted straight. I heard a noise, a quiet noise like… a car engine! They're here! I bolted down the stairs, nearly taking out my Aunt Jenny as she headed down the hall towards the door. I heard the familiar British drawl coming from outside as I silently opened the door.

"It's so much hotter in Florida than I remember." Phil's voice innocently proclaimed.

"Maybe that's cause you've been away too long." I countered pulling the silly lion into a hug of welcome.

"Lexa! How excellent to see you!" Phil exclaimed returning the hug.

"Is that my godson or did a lion escape from the zoo?" Jenny called from the door.

"Jenny!" Phil called enthusiastically as he rushed to hug her. I turned to face Dan, as he retreated from his argument with the cab driver I closed the distance between us and hugged him against me.

"Dan" I breathed. Feeling him against me made my mind spin and my body fill with electric energy.

"Lexa? Is that honestly you?" he whispered in return as I pulled away regretfully soon to nod at him. He hadn't seen me in years. Not since… no! I couldn't cry in front of him. "Wow, erm so you're living with Jenny now?" he asked while his eyes took in my new physique.

"Yeah, come on." I responded, grabbing his hand and towing him towards the house to greet Jenny.

"Hello Ms. Clark." Dan offered shyly.

"Oh Daniel call me Jenny, none of this formality!" Jenny laughed. Dan just awkwardly nodded. I had to act; this was on the verge of getting weird.

"K guys, I'll show you your rooms." I sent Jenny GO-SIT-DOWN-AND-REST eyes as I led the boys upstairs. I heard a faint sigh and footsteps I was immediately satisfied with myself. She couldn't get sick like… stop thinking! I mentally scolded myself and gestured to the left, the lone bedroom, "Phil" he got the beautiful baby blue room that had the most amazing view in the whole beach house. I led Dan down the hallway to the right, past my room, to which I had sloppily left the door open. I mentally cursed the fact I was so anxious for Dan and Phil to arrive to pay attention to what I was doing. I felt him stop walking.

"I stayed in here last time" Dan spoke quietly and I heard Phil's door shut as he began to talk to his camera. "Why didn't your aunt put you in the other one it's a lot bigger…" he trailed off glancing into my room. I glanced in too, hoping nothing embarrassing was in plain sight. Nope. Just my posters and epic, collectable video game paraphernalia.

"Room's this way Dan." I spoke finally, feeling both awkward and a little dizzy as Dan took my hand again, "Unless you would rather snoop throughout my room." I smiled as I watched him blush. "I'm only kidding Dan, come on."

"Alright" he chuckled. I pulled him into his temporary room. He glanced around before setting down his bag and pulling our intertwined hands up to play with absently as he asked,

"How long have you been living in Florida?" I looked into his chocolate brown eyes and instantly knew my answers were safe with him.

"After… I mean about a year and a half." Shit he's totally going to know I'm leaving something out. Unless… did Jenny tell Phil? Maybe, but probably not.

"What happened?" he asked "You can tell me Lexa, I'm a steel trap remember?" he joked instantly earning giggles from me.

"Oh okay" I said sitting on his bed. He sat with me and waited patiently for me to begin. "Well, my mom was really sick for quite a while with some kind of hereditary disease and… she… just, died about two years ago and my dad couldn't handle it-" I broke off holding back tears. He slowly enfolded me in a hug, calming the tears and exciting my body. "Sorry" I breathed shakily. "He just decided he couldn't handle being without her and he killed himself around six months later." I felt Dan breathe and hold me tighter. It was silent for a moment and we heard Phil talking to his lions.

"Lexa, we had no idea. I'm so sorry. Phil only said you'd been living here for a while, he didn't know either. I'm not going to say it is okay, but I couldn't even imagine going through this."

"I think Phil's looking for us." I responded as I heard Phil calling down the hallway.

"DOLPHINS! DAN! LEXA! DOLPHINS!" Oh no he looked out the window. I sighed and turned to face Dan to see his head resting on my shoulder. This is awkward I thought but no way in hell was I going to break this kind of contact with Dan! I've had the hugest crush on him ever since I first met him. Probably a year before mom died. I remember I had been on vacation here to visit Jenny and Phil came with Dan for their vacation. Dan sighed,

"We should get him to the dolphins, I mean before he explodes." I laughed at this, breaking the tension.

"I guess you're right, it's a short walk to the beach from here." Wow romantic you IDOIT! I didn't need to say anything more because Phil chose that moment to open the door, thankfully Dan's head wasn't on my shoulder and his arms weren't encasing me when Phil poked his head in.

"Guys! What have you been doing? Come on let's go see the dolphins! Jenny said the beach is really close and we can hang out down there while she makes dinner, I offered to help but she said it was an old family recipe that would only be handed down when she died. Weird, right?" I felt Dan tense but I didn't let it bother me, I smiled and responded with as much enthusiasm as possible.

"Sure Phil that'll be great! We could go swim with the dolphins if you want." Phil's head looked about to explode as he turned to Dan expectantly.

"Can we Dan? Please?" I laughed at the intense puppy-dog eyes Phil sent at him.

"Who am I to argue?" Dan gave in. Phil smiled and ducked out of the room to go put on his swimsuit. Dan called after him "Would you let Jenny know? I haven't even unpacked yet."

"Sure Dan." came Phil's voice from down the hall.

"You big softie." I smirked at him.

"How could I turn down you and the puppy-dog eyes?" he asked jokingly, I laughed. His face suddenly became serious. "Lexa…" he trailed off as I put a finger to his lips and gently whispered,

"Shh, get dressed Phil's probably waiting" I quickly kissed his forehead and stepped through our conjoined bathroom into my bedroom. I instantly closed the door and fell back on my bed, fangirling. I quickly began to get dressed into my swimsuit, a sexy bikini, and my dozens of woven bracelets on my wrists I was just as worried about my appearance as I was before. I knocked on Dan's door to see if he was ready. I was surprised to watch the door swing open quickly to reveal glimpse of a bare-chested Dan and then I was gently pulled into his room, right into him. I felt his arms and then his lips, tasting sweet and feeling delicious on mine; as I closed my eyes. Then he was gone I opened them to see his beautiful face smirking at me.

"Look who it is." He spoke finally, after an extremely long silence.

"How did you know it wasn't Phil?" I asked.

"Phil doesn't knock" he laughed.

"Oh come on" I said under my breath. Grasping his hand and pulling him down the stairs. I dropped his hand when we came around the corner to the kitchen to face Jenny.

"Oh!" she startled "Phil was anxious to get going so he left without you, I gave him directions but do make sure he hasn't wandered off."

"Sure Jenny, did you really not need any help?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh no dear, that's quite alright you already do so much." She sat down at the table and I watched her warily for a moment before deciding it was alright for us to go. I led Dan out the patio door, down the deck stairs and into the beautiful sand. We saw Phil about 50 yards down the beach talking to the lifeguard. Crap I knew that guy. I pulled Dan close enough to hear what they were saying,

"So is England really as rainy as everyone says?"

"I dunno, what are people saying?" I heard Phil chuckle as Dan swiftly tugged me to where they were talking.

"Phil, quit being such a tourist." Dan mock-scolded rolling his eyes he turned to the lifeguard. "Sorry about my friend here, he's a little slow." Dan made cuckoo signs with the hand that wasn't gripping mine. Both Phil and I laughed.

"Wait, you're Danisnotonfire!" The hot lifeguard realized. "Lexa? How do _YOU_ know _them?_" Before I could stutter a response Dan responded.

"None of your business." Huh. Who would have thought he would be the jealous type?

"Um, my Aunt is Phil's godmother. Is that sufficient?" I stuttered.

"Sure it is Lex, sure it is." He countered easily.

"Luke, your arrogance is showing. Do you mind? For the millionth time quit calling me Lex! It's annoying!" I seethed, Dan squeezed my hand gently and I leaned into him, not looking awkward because he was already close enough I could do that and not look like a freak. The three of us watched Luke roll his eyes.

"Whatever _Lexa_." Luke obviously couldn't think of anything intelligent to say. It was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Let's go guys." I pulled Dan gently away from him, and Phil trailed along behind us, taking in all the sights and probably trying to see dolphins in the clear blue water. "He's just a guy I knew from high school. I just graduated about a month after I saw you guys last time." I felt Dan's hand squeeze mine in sympathy for my parents. "He's a serious douche." This needed no response from either of them. We walked in silence until we reached the part of the beach that allowed animal life. Then Phil got excited and rushed into the waves to meet his dolphin friends. Dan towed me along with him as we slowly reached the edge of the water. "I'm sorry about Luke; he's just an asshole who enjoys getting the best of me."

"You know you get the most adorable little crease in your eyebrows when you're angry…" Dan muttered just loud enough for me to hear him.

"Dan! Were you listening to me or not?" I questioned faux-angrily.

"Ugh" Dan groaned, "don't tell me we've turned into that couple" my eyebrows shot upwards "I mean um…"

"Couple." I playfully mused. "Lexa Rose Smith and Daniel Howel, dating, as in boyfriend and girlfriend." Hmmmm I could get used to that. Dan smiled bitterly.

"If you want to make jokes just keep going."

"Who said anything about joking? I'm completely serious Daniel." I looked into his eyes and felt his free hand move up to cup my face. "Dan, Phil's out there somewhere." He moved his face closer, signifying he obviously didn't care who saw. I dropped his hand and laid mine to rest around his neck, letting him know I didn't mind either. I watched his pupils dilate as his face closed the distance between us until his lips met mine. I had kissed guys before but this was far more intense, he responded urgently by angling his face and body to deepen the kiss. His hands that gripped my waist urged my body closer to his. God, I never wanted this to end. His tongue slid along my lower lip as he silently requested entrance to my mouth, my body sighed in response and I opened my mouth allowing his tongue in. He just tasted so _good_. As his tongue explored my mouth my arms tightened around his neck. He groaned, slowly pulling away from me and this kiss. A whine escaped the both of us as I bit his lip in a last attempt to keep him with me. He still pulled away from me and I let him go, disappointed.

"Lexa." he laughed, "don't look at me like that." he gestured to my pouting expression. "We have to find Phil; he could have drowned for all we know."

"Or he could be over there kissing a dolphin." Dan turned around eager to see that. Then, realizing that I was kidding turned back to me, amused.

"Oh you naughty little devil you." He teased planting a kiss in my forehead.

"I said 'he could be' he wasn't but he might've been." I reasoned.

"Well jokes aside we really do need to find him Lexa."

"I know" I grumbled, "let's go look for the lion." Dan and I released each other in order to search for our friend. I scanned the water in search of him but to no avail. "I can't find him" I started to get worried, Phil was like a child. Well now he was a lost child. Panic set in and I gripped Dan's hand tightly. He really could have drowned! What if he was Youtuber-napped? He won't have his cell phone on him because it's a beach! What are we going to do?

"Ah wait, there he is!" Dan cried out. He pulled me along with him. A _gift shop?!_ Who goes to a gift shop on the beach with _no money?!_ We pulled him out of it and back into the water. We all swam around for a while and decided we would go back to the house to eat since we were all pretty tired.


	2. Chapter 2

When we reached the house it was nearing 6:00 but Phil was thoroughly exhausted. We all thought he was jet-lagged or something because after we ate the dinner Jenny had made them, a delicious homemade seafood stir-fry, Phil went to go take a nap, probably so he could wake up in the middle of the night and annoy Dan. Dan and I decided to change into regular clothes and go back down to the beach. As we walked, Dan was harassed by two geeky-looking girls that instantly hated me for being female and holding Dan's hand. To get away from them I decided to get a cab to take us around the corner so they think we've gone, and come right back where we were.

"Dan?" I asked once we were out of the cab, "Do you really like meeting fans?"

"Well I know one fan that I _love _to meet" he said taking my hand again.

"Who?" I asked curious.

"I'll give you a hint, I'm making direct contact with them right now" I raised an eyebrow; this could not get any more ridiculous.

"Dan, you've know me for like 5 hours. I mean isn't this relationship is really… I don't know, rushed?" I asked pinching my nose up. I don't like that word. Especially not to describe feelings I've had for forever. He thought for a moment, the words escaping him.

"I've always liked you, but now it seems like we're both so much more ready for a relationship. We're so much more mature than we were; I never asked you anything personal. I never wanted to know if we had the same feelings, I always thought of you as such a little kid so I would control myself. I never knew much about you. I played it off like it was nothing but after we left; I dunno I thought about you at the most random moments. Like, oh wonder what Lexa's doing right now, did she watch my video? Just random little things that made me even more anxious to see you."

"Stop, Dan just stop talking for a sec. Please?" I was having flashbacks, I needed to sit NOW. I stopped walking, only slightly aware of Dan. I saw Mom, sick. Dad's note. The toilet inching closer, my throwing up each ugly moment of my life, the horrible sound I'd grown accustom to hearing. Jenny's smiling face, eyes full of mourning. I was vaguely aware of Dan talking, leading me to a bench. I was seeing people from school, calling me names and teasing me for being overweight. I saw Dan's face and I felt myself crying, I couldn't stop, I cried and cried. Probably enough for oceans to be made. When I was finally done, I opened my eyes, looked down at my skinny body and hands, Dan's hands, covering my own. I couldn't look at him or I would see terrible visions of all the times I had thought about him, Obsessing over my body and looks. I was afraid. I stood up shakily and ran I heard Dan yelling my name begging me to come back but I had to get away, at least to clear my head. I felt my cell phone vibrate; I paused for a moment, pulled it out of my pocket and whipped it at the ground. I hadn't even checked to see who it was. I felt hot tears running down my face and turned the corner suddenly and ran out onto the pier. I hadn't been here since I had started throwing up. I stopped running and sat down on the edge, letting my legs dangle off the side, hanging above the water. I laid back and listened to the ocean, I closed my eyes. It was always so peaceful here; I couldn't help but be relaxed. I heard Dan's feet pounding against the dock. I didn't move for a moment then I heard sirens in the distance.

"Lexa!" Dan screamed. Not worried but terrified. I sat up then slowly got to my feet. He must have seen me turn. As I neared I heard that he was crying. "It's your aunt; Phil found her and called the police. He said he couldn't reach your phone…" I didn't hear another word because at that moment the world turned black.

I woke up and felt arms supporting me; I opened my eyes and looked straight up at Dan's red tear-streaked face. He was carrying me; we were near the hospital from what I could see. My head was pounding but I spoke, "What happened?" almost silently but it didn't matter, it had to be late and this street was always quiet. Dan spoke,

"Phil woke up and found your aunt in her room, tried to wake her up but…" he broke off and stopped walking.

"I can walk, Dan." He gently set me down and we walked awkwardly for a moment before I decided to tell him, "I wasn't running from you, I was having… flashbacks I couldn't deal with it, I'm sorry."

"I'm guessing you didn't tell me everything then." I stopped walking, shocked.

"Did you want to know? It's not a happy story Dan."

"Lexa, if you can handle it so can I." He took my hand and pulled me to get me to start walking again.

"Ok, well after I moved here people made fun of me and my weight a lot and the fact I had no friends. I started to…" what could I tell him? How would he take it? Would he hate me? Be disgusted? Dan stayed silent but pulled his hand away from me and pushed up his sleeve. Tiny scars covered his forearm. I pulled him close to me and raised the stacks of woven bracelets from my wrists. He said nothing. He just looked at me and my thick, scabbed scars that had severed the pale, white skin that no longer lived there. He raised my wrists to his lips and kissed then gently before letting my hands fall into his. "That isn't everything Dan." I knew he would accept me but this was still hard. I took a deep breath and forced out, "I was bulimic." Immediately he pulled me into his arms and I felt him breathe in me and my scent. I felt tears falling into my hair and I pulled my face up to his and kissed him. He responded slowly, moving as if on auto-pilot. I suddenly felt him pull away, rejecting me.

"Jenny" was all he said before he closed the space between us and kissed me lightly.

"I love you" the words came tumbling out before I could stop them. He looked at me for a moment then smiled.

"I love you more."

**-I solemly swear I am up to no good-**

**Hell interwebs! I'm so happy someone other than my editor is reading this! If you have any critisism please reveiw or message me, I've already written through chapter 4 so I'll post those as soon as I can but I might slow down with how fast I'm updating once you're all up to speed. Thanks for all of the follows and love that I've received, I check my inbox/reveiws on my phone so I'll reply to you through message... That's pretty much it for now. (I don't know how this chapter of the next chapter really happened, they just sort of wrote themselves. I don't like it but it's taking a darker turn than I initially expected... shooters!) Until next time guys and in Dan's spirit CIAO**


	3. Chapter 3

The hospital, there it was. We walked in through the revolving door and Dan spoke with the nurse at the desk. It took five minutes to get her to tell us where Jenny was. I stood there counting every second, keeping a firm grip on Dan's hand. He watched me warily as I breathed in the hospital antiseptic smell. Mom. I was transported through time, Dad was holding my hand instead of Dan and he led me to the room my mother would die in. Then everything shifted and I was watching the younger me and my father sit in the room. I began to scream seeing my mom and dad so close but they weren't real, they couldn't be… no! I pinched myself, hard begging myself to wake up from this Hell of a nightmare. Then I felt Dan, shaking me, gently pulling me back into reality. He reassured me everything was fine but I saw in his eyes he was lying. We were in front of Jenny's room. I heard sobbing inside and I assumed it was Phil. I walked in to see Jenny's limp form lying in the bed. Her meds… Had she taken them? I had been so preoccupied with Dan and Phil I hadn't checked. This was my fault, all of it. It always was. Dan pulled me into the closest chair. I finally took my eyes off of Jenny and onto Phil. He looked nothing like himself, He was sobbing into his hands on the side of Jenny's bed. This was far too much; I closed my eyes, begging for relief. Anything to take the focus away from Mom… err… Jenny. Dan gently touched my shoulder but I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed. There was nothing he could do. What's done is done.

"Phil?" Dan carefully whispered. "Did anyone say anything?" Phil's lanky body shook with more sobs that racked his body. "Phil!" Dan's voice was more severe now, he needed to know. I didn't I already knew they would be coming in with the white sheet any moment.

"Dan, it's over." I was shocked by the sound of my own monotone voice "Just look at her. No machines, no breathing monitor no heart monitor, nothing, just the body. They wanted to give us the idea of hope but why? It's hopeless." I watched Phil's tear-streaked face turn to stare at me, his clear blue eyes fogged with tears.

"How could you know?" Ouch that was cold. He knew nothing about suffering and here he was calling my bluff. This is ridiculous! I don't need this! Dan can explain for Christ's sake I'm done!

"My parents are dead." I deadpanned heartlessly. "My mom had the same thing, my dad committed suicide." I watched his face morph, overcome with shock and grief.

"When was she planning on telling us? At her funeral?" Phil nearly screamed. I heard nurses stirring in the halls, finding the source of the commotion. Phil moved quickly, suddenly towering over me yelling in my face. "Never?! Did she even care about me? Or just her poor baby orphan?!" That stung.

"Maybe she would tell you if ever quit talking and just listened to anyone else!" Whoa, where did that come from? "Other people have problems Phil, not just you and whoever the hell you actually care about!" ok now I was pissed. "You think you know about suffering because of your goddamn fans that constantly write about their problems? Well I have news for you! IT NEVER GETS BETTER! NOT EVEN WHEN YOU WISH IT WOULD OR THAT YOU WERE DEAD TO ESCAPE IT! NEVER PHIL, **NEVER!**" That was all I could say due to the fact nurses were carrying me out of the room. Pulling me away from him, before I could even tell him that his best friend had worse problems than him and his sorry-ass existence. The nurses pulled me into a small room and jammed a needle into my thigh, I screamed. Then everything went black.

A sedative. They had to give me a sedative. I opened my eyes to see my feet sticking out of the end of a hospital blanket. Beyond that there were people I hadn't seen in forever. Luke, Sarah, Amanda, Krystal. The people who helped ruin my life. I sat up quickly and felt movement next to me. I looked and was surprised to see Dan, who had fallen asleep next to me, wake up suddenly and jump a mile when he noticed the people standing there.

"Damn, you sure sleep for a long time." Dan joked. I bit my lip to hide the smile. My enemies were right there and he decides to joke around? Is he crazy?"

"Wahthappenedtophil?" What? Was I still loopy? I didn't think so but it was possible. Dan laughed easily then looked a tad uncomfortable.

"He… erm… had to leave. They, well… kicked him out."

"Why?"

"Jesus Lexa! When you hear a man's voice yelling at a girl who then SCREAMS that nothing gets better you tend to assume the worst!"

"So you didn't do anything?"

"I didn't object, He needed some time to think and you were already drugged so… It seemed like the best decision." One of the girls standing awkwardly at the end of my bed cleared her throat.

"What does this have to do with _them_?" I questioned.

"That was me, I had to post something! Ya know how craaaazy fans get…" He chuckled awkwardly. No, I didn't know but I was about to find out.

"What did you post?" I asked calmly. As if this happened to me every day.

"Just a video… of…" he sighed, "you and then me talking."

"About?"

"For Christ's sake! He posted a video saying essentially that whoever had ever said anything to you that they regret, you were in the hospital and this is our chance to repent." Krystal burst out. I stared at Dan, why would that ever be a good idea? "They're sending us in four at a time because _he_ refuses to leave."

"Well yeah, I wasn't about to not record you doing some serious ass-kissing, was I?" I loved him. Why would posting a video like that EVER be a good idea? "Now go on." Dan pulled out his camera. Aiming it at the four, rude teenagers across from us. He hit record. "Please state your name, age, gender, reason for being here and your apology." Luke spoke up first,

"Luke, 19, male… obviously, your video spiked a lot of shit on Facebook that we should all head down here to apologize and stuff so yeah, sorry I was an ass to you. I figured it was a joke and I was just messing with you. I never knew it meant anything more than that." Wow, that must have taken a lot of guts. He sat down in the chair behind him and passed an invisible microphone to Sarah. She shook her head but spoke anyway.

"Sarah, 19, female I couldn't stand the guilt of watching the video and EVERYONE was sending it to me even people that I know hated you. I'm seriously sorry for everything I said about your weight and all of the rumors I sent around. I always thought that nothing ever mattered because you never said anything and I know now that is was wrong but thinking back, I was really insecure and was really jealous of the way you could handle anything that came your way. So I'm sorry for causing you any pain and regrets you've had 'cause of me." Wow these just kept getting better; Sarah sat down as well and glanced up at Amanda signaling she was done.

"I'm sorry…" Amanda choked out. She ran out of the room sobbing.

"What's her problem?" I asked Dan.

"Erm, well the nurses took a look at your arms and well they decided to just examine you while you were unconscious and they found out some pretty shocking stuff." Dan wasn't going to tell me straight out.

"Just tell me Dan!"

"Okay, okay! Well they thought it was best to take some precautions and I dunno, they 'accidentally' ran a shit load of tests on you and you have… the same thing your mother and Jenny had. Me being your only legal consent other than Phil, I gave the ok for them to proceed with surgery before it spread to the rest of your body." He saw he concern etched on my face. "Don't worry, everything's fine." He promised.

"FINE?! You call _that _fine?! Just look at her! She doesn't look fine to me!" shrieked Krystal.

"Dan, pass me that mirror." I instructed quietly. He tensed and clenched the sides of the mirror,

"Lexa, let's not do anything to upset you. You need rest; you shouldn't be stressed." I silently pleaded with him until his face hardened. "Fine."

**-I solemly swear I am up to no good-**

**Sorry about the cliffhanger here but trust me I'm upadating soon. I accidentally made Phil the enemy... completely unintentional but necessary! This chapter seems like a heck of a lot more when you're the one writing it. I had a general idea of what I should do but I played around for a while before actually being happy with it. Thank you for reveiws and follows I love you all, even and especially the people that read then do nothing, I am one of you. I like to remain anonymous when I'm reading works I don't really know why. I'm rambling so I will see you guys next time, unless I talk to you through messages, feel free by the way! I try to respond to everyone but if I don't right away, I am so sorry! Please don't hate my next chapter, from now on I don't think I'm actually in controll of this story. It's writing itself through my fingers. Bye bye guys I LOVE YOU ALL DISSSS MUUCH of crap you can't see me... um awkward... I LOVE YOU A LOT! (I'm thinking about abandoning ship with this peice so let me know what you think and it will be appreciated! Ok that's all BYE) **


	4. Chapter 4

I gasped as I turned the mirror around to look at myself. I was covered in gauzy bandages. I removed them expecting to see terrible, bloody wounds. I looked so different. Except, this wasn't me. This was a beautiful black-haired girl I had never seen before, maybe I had though, she looked familiar but who was she? I cleared my throat. "What happened?" I asked, turning to Dan.

"Well Selena had a car accident around the same time we arrived here and the doctors couldn't bring her back so…" he trailed off.

"What did they _do_?" I asked, "I'm _her_? This can't be real. How, Dan?"

"I dunno, they won't tell me but I have a few theories." He motioned for our 'guests' to leave, "I think they took your brain out and replaced in her body." I stared at him.

"Why? Why wouldn't they just let her die?" I asked.

"I think the doctors thought it would be easier for everyone if she was still alive. Like her career and finances could be handled by someone." Dan reasoned. "Not to mention her non-existent relationship with Justin Beavers."

"So everyone knows now?" I asked trying to appear the slightest bit calm.

"Oh, no only those four. You went into surgery before too long after I filmed you all… passed out." He certainly looked uncomfortable while telling me this, the way he shifted around in his chair.

"What did the doctors tell them?" I asked, a little worried for the answer.

"Well I suppose they said you were sleeping and not much else. I mean your face was covered in bandages and stuff so people wouldn't see much anyway." He glanced around the room.

"When did you see me like this?" I asked suddenly, a little louder than expected. He jumped slightly then shrugged it off.

"When you got back from surgery. The nurses put the bandages on you in here, so I did know. I just wasn't too happy with it." He read my puzzled expression I had been trying to hide. "Think Lexa! You and I can't be together anymore. You have to live her life, not your own. It's not going to be the same without you, I'll miss you. A lot."

It sunk in. "Dan, what'll I do? You can't leave Phil and I can't be me ever again! What could we do?" He thought for a moment.

"We could be _really_ close friends. I don't know how but it could work, couldn't it?" hmmm I guess it could but we would need something to divert the sexual tension away from us. A famous guy and a famous, rich girl as _friends_? Unlikely, I suddenly was overwhelmed by the seemingly obvious answer I'd overlooked. Phan. People believed in that more than well, anything. If he announced that he and Phil were seeing each other and we were just close friends… we could be together. Dan would definitely agree but Phil? I doubt it, he hates me. But I had to at least ask him.

"Dan" I hardly whispered. "Could you do me a favor?" He smiled.

"Well, what is it? You know I'll say yeah but tell me anyway." I maintained my straight face and sighed.

"I thought of something, but it's a bit crazy." He stood up and began to pace the small hospital room.

"Why don't you just tell me? It can't get much crazier, can it?" I watched him reason with himself for a moment before he turned to me expectantly, "Well go on! Let me hear this crazy scheme of yours."

"I think we should… give your fan base what they want. It'll get them to believe what they already fantasize about and all the while… we could be together. Dan?" He had a strange blank expression and was staring right at me.

"What do you mean?" He honestly hadn't gathered anything from that? He was so thick.

"I mean, give them the illusion of Phan." His eyebrows shot up so fast it was comical "I mean, just until I dunno… we can make this public."

"You want me to pretend to be in love with my best friend… while you're Selena freaking Gomez?! Do you have any idea how many guys would just love to be me right now? But I'm happy with my Lexa, not this celebrity, you."

"And I know that Dan, but this is important. I know you love me just as much as I love you but you need to do this. It's the only plan I can think of that allows us to be together inconspicuously." Dan looked at me blankly for a long time then he stood up and left the room without another word. He must have left the hospital too because less than an hour later he texted me saying, 'Check out the new video your PC is on the floor. I took down you video too –Dan' I scrambled as much as I could with all these tubes, turned on my laptop and logged onto YouTube. I quickly typed Dan's name into the search bar and clicked the first thing that popped up, his channel. I sat there and waited for the screen to change and as soon as it did I stopped. The title of his newest video was _The Truth about Life_ I held back my tears and clicked 'play'.

"Hello there internet," Dan's smooth voice began, "As you're all probably expecting from the title this video contains truth only. Let me just say that first because I have the feeling that people watching this are probably doubting this already but here goes nothing I guess. Before I tell you this let me say to the person this video is even happening, I love you. I'm not posting this with your permission so I know I'll pay for that later but for now, it doesn't matter. Alright guys, brace yourselves this next footage is from a never-before-seen-by-anyone-other-than-me file on my computer." The camera cut to a dramatic black screen with the words The Truth written in a fancy font. Then it showed Dan, and Phil too but my eyes were drawn to Dan first. It looked like they were shooting the SuperAmazingProject but I knew better, Phil's eyes were the slightest bit red which he compensated for as he rubbed his eyes and yawned. Dan stopped making faces at the camera and turned to him, "You alright Phil? You've been yawning all morning."

"Dan, it's like three o'clock hardly morning." Phil's face looked happy but in his eyes I located the hatred and pain of the man who'd screamed at me. "I'm fine," he avoided eye contact with Dan as if he were nervous.

"Oh come here," Dan began and to my surprise he pulled Phil close to him… really close. Phil looked Dan in the eyes and spoke so softly I could hardly hear him

"But, the camera's still on Dan."

"I'll edit this out, come on, who cares? No one's going to see this. Kiss me my lion." Dan reached a hand to cup Phil's cheek and I closed my eyes knowing what was happening next. I jumped a foot when I heard Dan's voice say, "Aaaand that's enough! You don't need to see that. Sorry fan girls, just gonna have to stalk us to get that sexeh Phan-ness. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Phan is going public! Please don't hate us if we ruined your dreams of me marrying a fan or Phil marrying a fan or whatever. Encourage us if you totally support us and fuck off if you're just some arrogant dickhead who hates gay people. Until next time, Ciao!" the screen went dark and I stared at it then snatched my phone up, untangling it from the blanket and immediately called Dan.

"Lexa" he answered on the first ring, tears began to flow down my face uncontrollably. "I'll be there in a minute, let me just tell my boyfriend OH LOVVAH" he shouted, I heard phil shout back,

"In a second HONEY I'm just doing the ironing…" this was cut off by screams of laughter and sexual noises.

"HEY!" I screamed into the phone, some of the laughter died down and Dan spoke,

"Calm down, we were only having fun. Be there in five minutes, Phil's coming too. He wants to apologize for what happened." Phil's voice rang through the phone line,

"He also wants an autograph!" before cackling and letting Dan finish the call.

"Bye, I love you." Dan's voice sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

"Love you, see you in a bit" I replied before hanging up the phone and waiting for my Dan and Phil.


End file.
